Blue Hole and the Naked Boys of Norphlet

.........Of course, at Blue Hole, girls sometimes drive out there to swim, and they’ll always be in a car driven by some junior or senior. When we hear a horn honk, it means put on your cutoff shorts ’cause in about two minutes some girls are going to walk over the bank.

Uh, huh, and you might guess one of the biggest messes that I was part of started one Saturday afternoon with a swim at Blue Hole. We’d ridden our bikes all the way from downtown, and, boy, were we ready to hit the water. Heck, we always race the last 100 yards, and the first one to get rid of all their clothes and dives in the water wins.

Since were riding bikes, it was kinda hard to get a head start, but as soon as I skidded to a stop, I jumped off the bike, yanked my shorts down, and ran for the edge of the water. Yeah, it was too close to call, and everyone except Tiny claimed to be the winner.

Well, after a few water-splashing fights, we settled down and decided to race across Blue Hole, which, and I’m just guessing, is about100 yards. We were really going after it, and we were nearly three-quarters of the way across when I thought I heard a car. Naw, it wasn’t a horn honk, but something like tires on a gravel road. I turned around in the water just as a couple of girls walked up to the top of the pit bank, and I was just about to yell for them to leave, when they started picking up our shorts.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doin’!” I yelled. But they just tucked our shorts under their arms and disappeared down the other side. When I heard the car drive off, I thought, Oh, my God, we’re at least a mile from town, and our clothes are gone. What? WHAT? Of course, we swam like Johnny Weissmuller, Mr. Tarzan, back to the bank, and ran up to see a car disappearing through the trees. But we figured it was just a trick to upset us, and they’d be back with our clothes in just a few minutes.

“Hey,” yelled Ears, “let do some more swimming while we wait on our clothes. You know they ain’t gonna leave us out here in the woods naked.”

Everybody thought that was a good idea, and we hit the water, and were really having a great swim until I thought, We’ve been swimming about two hours now and no clothes have been returned. Uh, huh, I was getting a little upset, and then Tiny said, “Did y’all recognize those girls?”

Well, I kinda thought I did, but then John Clayton blurted out, “I think it was Rosalie and her friend Freckles!”

Yeah, that’s what I thought, but I didn’t want to say it.

“Why would Rosalie leave us naked in the woods?” asked Ears. “We haven’t done anything to her.”

Well, I kinda stopped breathing for a little bit, hoping we’d talk about something else, when John Clayton piped up, “Oh, my gosh! It’s Richard! Richard! Yes, it’s because Richard put that possum in her school locker!”

Heck, my three best friends were standing there naked because of that trick I pulled on Rosalie, and if looks could kill, I’d be a dead as road kill. Well, after some cussing, Tiny said what I was thinking.

“She ain’t comin’ back with our clothes! We’re gonna hafta ride our bikes back through Norphlet naked.”

“No, surely Rosalie won’t let us hafta do that,” said Ears. “We didn’t do a thing to her…”

“Naw, but we used to be Richard’s friends. That’s enough to cause Rosalie to never bring our clothes back. Heck, we might as well get started. We’re not gonna have any clothes today,” said John Clayton.

Okay, Rosalie had really paid me back, but I started talking to the guys about how we’d just whiz through downtown Norphlet, and probably no one would even know we didn’t have clothes on. Then everybody got in a lot better mood, and we hopped on those bikes and headed toward town.

Heck, it was kinda funny, and as we turned off the Loop Road onto Main Street, we were yelling and laughing up a storm. We figured it would be a funny story to tell our friends. Things were okay, and we even passed several people walking on the sidewalk, who didn’t pay any attention to us, and I started to feel a lot better, that is until I looked down the street and there was Marshal Wing standing in the middle of the street in front of Peg’s Pool Hall waving us down.

“Ahaaaaaa! Oh no!” Uh, huh, and we said a bunch more stuff that I won’t say around adults.

“Get off those bikes, boys! What in the world are y’all doing ridin’ through town naked? Someone called the office and said you boys have been riding around without clothes on.”

Yeah, we were standing there by our bikes in the middle of Main Street, and we were all trying to tell Marshal Wing at the same time that somebody swiped our clothes. But horns started honking, and a bunch of half-drunk men walked out from Peg’s Pool hall, and pretty soon we had a pretty good crowd gawking at four naked boys standing in the middle of Main Street. Yeah, that bunch of drunks started hooting, laughing, and whistling, too. I’ve been embarrassed before, but never as bad as that.

Finally, we managed to convince Marshal Wing that somebody had swiped our clothes, and we figured he’d let us ride our bikes on home, but no.

“Boys, I can’t let y’all keep ridin’ through town naked. Come on down to the office while I call y’all’s folks.”

Oh, my gosh, I thought. Can this get any worse? Yeah, it could, and it did. Marshal Wing motioned for us to push our bikes and follow him, and that was really embarrassing as we pushed those bikes down the Main Street sidewalk, with people just laughing up a storm, and ladies snickering and turning their heads. But it was gonna get worse.

We rounded the corner and turned onto Front Street where the Marshal’s office was and somebody was aiming a camera at us.

“Ahaaaaaa!” I yelled. I recognized her. It was Rosalie, and just the thought of her taking pictures of us nearly sent me into fits. What is she going to do with those pictures? just flashed through my mind......