Richard, your favorite paperboy

Okay, now I know, cause a bunch of y'all have been after me about that watermelon thing---well, I know some folks have said, "Uh, huh, I figured as much." Okay, maybe me and John Clayton did get in old man Odom's watermelon patch, but, yeah, he really deserved it. Heck, that old man was as mean as a basket of turpentined snakes. Heck, you don't think we'd just up and go steal watermelons---do you? Don't answer that cause you really don't know just how mean and just plain sorry that old man was. Shoot, he'd as soon spit tobacco juice on your bear foot and then laugh about it as he would swat a mosquito. Course, when he told us about the big watermelons he had been feeding with them little water troughs, and how they was gonna weigh in at over 70 pounds, and then when he just laughed when we offered to buy one..."You boys can't a-ford none of these melons. They's for high dollar folks." And then he did one of them hand guns things like he was pointing a finger at you and making his thumb the hammer. Shoot, he just hollered like some wild hyena as we sat there mad as a cat with a broke tail. So, now what do you think? Un, huh, see I told you we just didn't haul off and steel no watermelons. But heck, there's a bunch more to that story and it has to do with soldiers and feed sacks and howling dog and a shotgun booming away. The whole dang story is in one of them books, The Red Scarf or Lyin' Like a Dog. Heck, believe it our not, I can't remember which one---or maybe it's in the Yankee Doctor which ain't been published yet. But if I'm lyin' I'm dyin', if it ain't the God's truth---or wait a minute God's truth is maybe a little strong. Yeah, it really did kinda happen