That wild and crazy paperboy

Now don't get me wrong. It ain't like I have never done nothing. Cause I'd be lyin' like some old sorry yard dog, if I told you I was Momma's little angel. Well, sometimes things just gets wild and crazy and I just happen to be there and heck, I get the blame. Just think of it this way; what if you was just standing on the side of the road and "blam." A car wreck happened and you got blamed. Well, that's kinda the way a bunch of things got started that I got blamed for. One of them was meant to be for that sorry, worthless bully Homer Ray Parks. Shoot, if you knowed him you wouldn't blame me for anything I did. Okay, let's play like you know Homer Ray and you're on my side. Get even with a bully? Yep, I know you'd back me up doing about anything I can. Right? But what about in Church? Un, huh, you're kinda backing up aren't you? Well you see I did something in Church that caused a whole lot of trouble and it was just for that sorry Homer Ray. The sorry rat joined the Church during our big spring revival and was gonna be baptised---you know dunked three time in a big pool of water in the Church. Y'all has got to believe me when I'm telling you it was just to get that mule-ugly Homer Ray. Heck, how did I know folks was gonna just go wild when the baptistry water turned red? Not what I planned and it was just like a car wreck, except about 400 folks, the preacher, and Homer Ray was in the wreck. Yeah, I got blamed for that wreck, but he durn sure deserved it.---Uh, if y'all want to read every little detail, it's in that new book by R. Harper Mason, Lyin' Like a Dog. Shoot, I don't know why he named it that. I don't lie like no dog. Do I?