The End of Ties

                           The End of Ties

Well, whether you like it or not, ties are out of step with 21st Century America, and they are disappearing faster than Democrats in Arkansas. Good riddance! Well, not to the Democrats, but to ties. Why do I say that? Briefly, it's because ties portray a decidedly negative perception in today's world, and who in their right mind would voluntarily submit to being choked by a rag? So if you or your generation whines, get ready to jump on the train to oblivion, if not oblivion, certainly on the train to irrelevance.

            Yes, ties are a thing of the past, and just wearing one dates you in everything you do. But, let me ask you this question: Does it bother you to read about the demise of ties? If you are a ‘hardcopy gotta have the old crinkled up newspaper in your hands’, it might. But, let's just say I sent that message out on a tweet. Would the readers even nod? Nope, Twitter folks discarded their ties years ago. So what does that say about you hardcopy newspaper readers who are frowning at the reference that ties are out? Of course, at the very least, it says you are carrying baggage from the past.   

             That's right. If you are wearing a tie regularly, then you are hanging onto an absolutely worthless tradition. Here's a good example: last month we went to New York with friends, and decided to splurge. We went to Per Se, probably one of the most prestigious dining venues in the city. Yes, a jacket was required, but not ties. Later, when I had a conversation with the manager, I asked when they stopped requiring ties. “It was around 2004, about the time we quit requiring women wear dresses,” he replied. The management of Per Se realized they were out of step with the times, and they changed. If Per Se can get in step with the 21st Century, don't you think it's time for you to join the rush to shuck those ties?

 Let’s consider the whole premise of ties. According to the internet, the current wearing of a cloth around a man’s neck started back in the dark ages when there was a need for warmth. It evolved to around the turn of the 20th century, when someone came up with the current necktie. So what's really wrong with ties? Besides being uncomfortable to wear. I believe a first impression flashes a message, and to you tie wearers, it's: "Out of touch, dated, lost in the fifties, out of style, out of the mainstream. Do they even have an Internet? Does the wearer even know what a derivative is? Is he a banker, lawyer, or preacher?

             In today digital world, who actually wears a tie—voluntarily—you know, without the boss mandating it? Well, first, why does your boss say something totally out of touch with the times, such as this, “Ties must be worn except on 'casual Friday’." Huh? Am I the only one who thinks casual Friday is worse than ties every day? Why ties you might ask the boss? "We're afraid our company won't project a dignified appearance." Really? Let's consider three of the most successful companies in the country, Starbucks, Apple, and Google. You'll have to look long and hard to find a tie on any of the multi-thousands of their employees and their management. So what does that tell you? It speaks loudly, "We're the future—-not the past." Does the CEO of Apple look undignified?

            Other tie wearers include, bankers, lawyers, and judges. Yes, judge, I hear you when you say, "Ties are required to give the appearance of justice and dignity. I guess that’s why judges in England still wear white wigs. “Judges you have given up the white wigs here in America, so don't you think it's time to do drop the white wig—oh, I meant to say “tie requirement?”

A review of the disappearing necktie will tell you, if you start a plot 15 years back, and extend it forward, that ties will completely disappear in a few years. So why wait? Ties are worthless and the quicker we discard them the sooner we can embrace something worthwhile. For instance, think about this, would you feel comfortable having a tie-wearing, financial guy handle a complicated short-sale sub-derivative, tax free exchange? Would you wonder if he's so far behind the curve that he couldn't handle the job? Does he Tweet, Yelp, Plunder, or Snitch? Or does he still fax and use and use Windows 95? Just because you have an email account and are on FaceBook doesn't put you on the cutting edge of anything. So get firmly in the 21st Century and toss those ties—and start tweeting.

            And, oh my God! Don’t get me started on bow ties. They’re about relevant as a hula hoop.

Of course, socks are next!